Trevor Turnbull for Reclaim Incubator Week #1 Reflection

Speaker: Trevor Turnbull

Trevor Turnbull: better late then. Not at all. So here we go meditation headband and all. My weekly energetic intention was to create the space for gatherings for men to come in and be surrounded by other people that are also striving to be better versions of themselves. Knowing that when we, when I create a space like that, it actually opens up possibilities that nobody can see until they experience something like that. And the action that that the shape that it took was for me to actually um create the times on my calendar and set up a Gmail account under the extremely conscious brand and then start doing some outreach to invite people into these calls. And I did it. I created the first four where the first one is happening this friday and it's going to be incredible.

Trevor Turnbull: how did I make out with that intention? So I did set up everything and I did a really good wave of invites last friday. And uh and then had I believe three or four people within the 1st 24 hours or so reach out saying I'm in a handful of them in comments on social posts, others from direct outreach that I did. And then I hit up my email list twice as well. Um But I have a list of about 200 people that have circulated in my space in the last little bits and people that have just come to mind even to. And I've only reached out to about 20 of them and I've recognized that there's something holding me back from actually putting out the call in. And that's what I reflected on in the rest of the questions which I believe I will end up answering in the rest of this video reflection.

Trevor Turnbull: I'm looking back on the notes that I just wrote from my reflection questions here. They are, they're right here. So I answered the questions and the thing that I moved through this week I wrote down three here. I'm going to share the second one, which was, I lean into the unknown and the fear around doing mushrooms. And while that might seem like, okay, small little thing is actually pretty meaningful for me because there was of fear that was coming from a place of wanting to control the outcome and having this false sense of like reality of like I can control exactly how things are going to go. No, I fucking can't. I need to get to release that and trust that I'm putting myself in situations that may not be what I want, but I always get what I need if I'm willing to recognize it and lead into the uncomfortable. It's always where the magic happens for me and I received another acknowledgement of that in the, in the physical reality here. Of when I lead with vulnerability and honesty from the heart, I create the space for others to unlock things that are buried deep down inside that they didn't even realize that they wanted to share. It just comes out and I had this happen at an event that I went to like four years ago and then I had, it happened again on saturday with the share at the end of the mushroom experience talking about um my connection to the loss of our daughter and how it's allowed me to have gratitude for the smallest of things like breath, and then also um the desire to adopt a girl at some point, and how one of the shares right before that was how we uh navigate death in our life and how we, as humans have a default to want to fill the gap of the pain so that we don't feel it as much, but it's actually an avoidance mechanism to not feel it when that is exactly what we need to do and what had ultimately opened up in the space where three other people in the room shared their stories about being adopted. It was fucking insane and so divine at the same time and it wouldn't have happened. So there was there was massive like breakthroughs for everybody just because I actually shared what was on my heart not even realizing the connection that was in that room. It was, yeah, it's perfect.

Trevor Turnbull: so the vibration that I stepped into and I'm just gonna read what I wrote here um because it's essentially the seventh question, which is what are the feeling? What is the feeling you have embodied at the end of this week? So here's what I wrote. I am perfectly aligned with being the person to lead vulnerable, honest conversations with men that create massive unlocks and I don't need to force it. I just need to show up and lead the way. Yeah, that was the, that was, that was what I embodied and going through this exercise of answering the reflection questions on my journal and then even speaking them aloud here on the video is just locking in that belief and that, that knowing of exactly that. And I'll also say to, I'm not sure if there's another question at the end of this, I think this is the last one, but I get to share my story about the connection to gratitude and the dragonfly and the significance of it and even this tattoo, which is uh, there we go, which you can see is an infinity symbol with the kids names that we lost in hindi. But what it started as was a dragon. It was a tattoo I got when I was 18 that I picked out of a book that was a dragon head that I ultimately asked the tattoo artist to scale back a little bit because I was like, I don't know if I want like red flames and and green eyes and a bunch of stuff on my shoulder. I wanted something that was just black, but I ended up covering over that tattoo that essentially was the shape of a dragon head and covered it with the infinity symbol and just the connection and the love to, to these kids and the part of and the part that they played in my journey of, you know, ultimately, I think allowing me to feel gratitude at a deep, deep level and to remember it, you know, because that's the one thing I think that this reflecting and journaling is so powerful at is allowing me to just remember like you are this person, you, you do have this gift, stop sucking, playing small, share this gift, but also don't stress over it, don't overcomplicate it. Just fucking show up man, just show up. People are waiting for me to create that space and now I've created it now it's time for me to actually step into it. And I'll also say one other thing too, just so I can say this out loud, there's been part of me that's hesitated to actually create a space like that these better man gatherings that I've created, which are these, you know, free to attend spaces where you're only allowed to come once. Um, so it's not an ongoing thing, like the way that the mentorship Mondays were structured because quite frankly, I don't believe that creating a space for people to just come back to a space with other men where you constantly, you know, where there's a lot of there's so much benefit and growth to having a space that is has no coaching. It has no judgment. It just allows you to come to a space to be able to speak what's on your heart, what's alive and real. But without the then attached piece of now, what is your commitment to yourself to being a better man and make it S.M.A.R.T. write S = specific M - measurable A = attainable, R= realistic T = timely. I believe that's the definition of that acronym. Something to that effect anyways that we don't actually ground in the actions that are going to move us into the direction of our intentions and what it's doing for me is it's allowing me to create the space for people to come in and and and have these massive unlocks where I don't even know what it's gonna look like. Every call is going to be different. But if I lead from my heart, I create the space for that to happen. And then I also create the intention for that person to go now what am I going to do about this? So I spoke about it, I had this magical experience on a call. I spoke about it now I'm going to move in that direction and then have a follow up call with those guys to be able to check in and say how did you do? Did you honor yourself with your word. Were you of integrity with what you said you were going to do? And that to me just feels so aligned because it allows me to actually operate from a space where I get to be that person as well, because I will also state an intention every single week. And I also get to hold people high, I get to call them up and they get to either enroll themselves into their higher self or not, and if they're not ready and they're not willing to commit to the intention and the commitment that they made to themselves, I can't drag them into this space, I can't drag them into being a better man and whatever that means for them, it doesn't mean that I have the answer for them because they do, they have the answer. They know why they're, you know, I think of a friend who had a heart surgery, um a double bypass at the age of 40 for like a year ago And he's about 80 lb overweight. His brother killed himself with alcohol about five years ago. His brother's son within the last like six months had an accident and became um a paraplegic. Like he's going through a lot of shit I know he is and I reached out to him and invited him in and the exact words he used were, I'm not really into this better man stuff, but I wish you the best of luck and there's part of me that was annoyed by it, That was part of me that was judgmental about it. But then there was part of me that surrendered to the thought of, I cannot drag people into being a better version of themselves. I can't, all I can do is just show up myself with that intention and then aligned actions and let that be the attractor not and that actually has allowed me to release my own judgment of myself over judgment if that makes sense because I've been sitting with that a lot lately of like okay so judgment is coming up for me, it's coming up for me sucking everywhere and I keep and I've said it out loud right even when it wasn't comfortable to say with me and you um talking about other people but I think the thing that I'm reframing on the judgment side of things is like yeah there is certain aspects of me that is judging of other people um but one it's coming from a place of I see something for them that they don't yet see. But the other part is I also get to release and let that go because there's nothing wrong with me being judgmental as long as I operate from a place of integrity and authenticity to want to call people up knowing that sometimes it'll be uncomfortable um but that there's growth there for both that person too and for me and this is human experience, I'm going to judge others, it's like the ego, I will never get rid of it. I will just learn to integrate it, my judgment. I will never get rid of it. I will just learn to integrate it. Yeah, that was a big one. Thanks for the space to let me say that all out.

Trevor Turnbull: Nothing else to reflect on that long last one was long enough and I think summarized all the other things I was thinking.