Speaker: Serena M, How to PREPARE to leave
What success, challenge, or struggle have you experienced?
Serena M: Hi, I'm Serena, and I am an author, I'm a business owner, and I've had my own marketing and advertising agency for, gosh, 11 years now. And boy have I seen struggle. I've seen struggle in many different ways. But probably one of the most painful was, within the agency. My husband came to work in the agency in the first year, and he said, I quit my job, you know, if I'm gonna sell anything, I'm gonna sell something I believe in. And we just started running and growing and evolving. And on the outside, everyone saw us as this perfect power couple. But behind the scenes, he was struggling with substance abuse, multiple infidelities, and unfortunately, it was really ruining not just our marriage, but also our business. And so after 10 years of being married, I had to find the courage within myself to leave. And when I left in 2019, in October of 2019, by March of 2020, he committed suicide. And so I share this story because there's so many layers to each person's story and each person's life, whether they're a business owner or whether they're not. It's messy, and it just gets really complicated and sometimes it's really hard to share some of the hard things when you don't have somebody that you can connect with. And so that's my story, and I can share more about it if you're interested in learning more.
How did you feel during that time?
Serena M: Gosh, how did I feel during that time? I would say I felt devastated, I felt empty. I felt like no one could relate to me. I felt alone. And I also felt like I had to earn his love and approval, and I was on this hamster wheel of constantly trying to prove my worth. And I have to say that through that experience, I've learned that you don't have to earn love. Love should be freely given. And once you look within yourself, and you identify that beauty within yourself, you'll know that that the right people will just attract naturally.
What would you like to say to someone else who is going through a similar situation right now?
Serena M: So, what I would like to share is what I did in that situation. To get out of it, because that's the scariest part. And I use an acronym. It's called PREPARE. The "P" stands for plan your next steps. They "R" is resources, identify the resources, like the community, the people that you need, the things that you need to put in place before even taking the next step. "E" stands for creating an exit strategy. You you're not alone and you shouldn't do this alone. You need to be surrounded by, whether it's a close friend, a mentor, or a professional in this industry, to guide you through the process because leaving is so much harder, when you're doing it alone. Then there's "P", which is make preparations. So, when we're preparing to leave. It's really easy to say, well, just pack your things and go, but it doesn't work that way. So make the preparations in advance so that when you leave, you can leave with a clean slate. The "A" is for take action. Don't sit back, don't retract, and don't stay in that situation because you know it's unhealthy. The "R" is for release responsibility. You are not responsible for anyone else's actions. You're only responsible for your choices and your reactions. And then the last part is "E," evacuate. So, PREPARE my acronym was the strategy that I used in order to leave an unsafe environment that impacted my kids, my family, my business, everything that you could imagine. But without having a strategy and an exit plan and all of those things, I just wouldn't have known what to do. And that's when it's a lot easier to go back to the person who might be hurting you. So, that's what I did.
