Speakers: Elizabeth Wynter
Elizabeth Wynter: When we bring young people to the table to be part of planning meetings and decisions that impact their lives, we need to be trauma, responsive. Many of these will be hot button issues for the young person and they may become emotionally dysregulated. It is then when we need to step in and help them co-regulate their emotions. We begin doing this by first validating their feelings instead of rushing in to try and fix the situation or instructing them on how to feel. And so when a youth is distressed, they may struggle to use their problem solving skills. And during these moments, it's crucial to make them feel safe and understood. You might say I notice you, you seem upset or it looks like you might be feeling angry. Validation does not mean that you agree with their behavior, but it shows empathy and support. The second step is to maintain physical and mental presence, right? Co-regulation requires close physical and emotional proximity. You can't effectively support a youth if you're not physically present or if you're emotionally agitated. Take deep breaths to ground yourself. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to compose yourself or seek assistance from one of your colleagues. Your calm presence helps regulate the youth's emotions and nervous system. The third step in helping to co- regulate is to use fewer words. Communicate with a calm and gentle tone, sometimes whispering or speaking softly can lower the energy of a tense situation. Focus on providing emotional support rather than problem solving or explaining. Often less is more. Silence or minimal verbal input can be more effective in helping a distressed youth calm down. The next step is to really model self-regulation techniques. So you demonstrating self regulation by engaging in calming activities together. This may include you holding their hand, taking deep breaths together, offering a comforting hug or using a soothing object. Adjust the environment as needed dim, the lights, play gentle music and minimize any verbal or visual distractions. Once the youth is more regulated, you can guide them to healthier ways to manage their emotions. Last is you may want to implement some routines in these meetings to help them gain a sense of stability and predictability. And so you can begin each meeting with a consistent agenda. You can begin with a poem. You can begin with going over ground rules and make sure at the beginning of the meeting, you set the set the mood, right for the youth to be a part of this discussion, to to be the center of this discussion. And then how do you end the meeting, right? End the meeting by thanking and appreciating and making sure that everyone's opinion has been heard. And so consistent routines during these meetings can help reduce anxiety and support the youth in engaging more effectively in the planning process.
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