Marcella - a Magical Change Trainee and Mum of a Child who Graduated the Programme

Speaker: Marcella

Marcella: Hi, I'm Marcella, and I am the mom of an eight year old child on the autism spectrum. Why did I choose Magical Change? Well, I think when you have a kiddo on the autism spectrum, you're always looking for ways that will help them. And you've got to find ways that will stretch them, but we work with them where they are. And I think Trudy does that really, really well. I trained in Magical Change because of Trudy. She is a teacher, an educator, a business owner, and a mom herself, and more importantly I think, out of the goodness of her heart, she found this process that worked for 148 out of 150 kids. And in the autism world that is unheard of - that type of success rate - and so I just had to try it.

Marcella: Oh, the training was exceptional. I think from day one, Trudy really just tried to make it work for everybody, from logistics and trying to work out what time suited everybody best, to the length of the sessions, to providing recordings. And so she just made it very, very, very accommodating, working around us, as opposed to working around her, which you don't always get. The content of the training sessions themselves was very good. It was very informative. She had case studies on different kids, to really going deep into the Magical Change process itself. There were practice sessions with past Magical Change students, so I feel like she really compacted everything into as short a time as possible, with as much information as possible, to really kind of put it into our heads and make sure we got it. And then I think the last thing that she did, which was really helpful, was to have a Facebook group. So in the Facebook group, she not only posted her own successes, but she encouraged others to ask their questions as well, and she would give her feedback and she'd ask others for their feedback too, which I think just helped the conversation be continued outside of the sessions themselves. And then, afterwards, she'd always post more resources and stuff, so she really just tried to build a community of support for so many of us, trying to learn the Magical Change process.

Marcella: What experience have I had of seeing Magical Change in action? Oh, I saw it directly with my own eyes. Trudy actually volunteered to work directly with my child, when he was 7, and I thought, at the time, it would be an impossible effort. He was unable to do 99% of things in society - so no school, no play dates, no playgroups, no birthday parties, no camps. - nothing. Like none of that stuff could he do. He was unable to communicate with any adults, outside of 4 of us, including 2 of his parents, and 2 therapists. And so there were really only 4 adults he could communicate with. And on Zoom - he would refuse to go on Zoom and talk with anybody - be they kids or adults. And given I'm in the US and Trudy`s in the UK, the only way we could potentially do this, would be on Zoom with an adult - which he had just refused to do. So I was a first-hand participant, and viewer, to the whole Magical Change process, that Trudy ran through with my kiddo.

Marcella: What changes did I see in any children or young people that I've worked with? Well, I'll channel a Trudy and say - `It's been magical`. Watching her working with my kiddo has been absolutely magical. I think it starts from even just framing how to get him on the screen - because as I mentioned before, he never would talk to any other adult outside of 4 of us, and he wouldn't go on Zoom. And so the way that Trudy had me frame it for him - that it was a challenge. It made it something that he was interested in and he would be willing to go for. And so even her knowledge of how to frame it for him was better than 99% of people out there. That most people don't understand, or most people in the mental health industry for autism don't even understand. So that was huge. And then the progresses he's made ? I can tell you from what you've seen in the beginning, versus what he is now. And so what I saw in the beginning was - in the first meeting with Trudy, he agreed to meet with her but he wanted to be in his bedroom - which is a safe space. And he wanted to be underneath the sheets and in his bed. And so he was hiding actually underneath the bed the whole entire time, with the sheets over his head. And he refused to actually come out and see her on the screen. But when Trudy would ask him a question, I would then say her question to him and he would whisper a response to me, and then I would translate and say the same thing back to Trudy. And so that was the first meeting, where he wouldn't even see her. He wouldn't even talk to her directly and everything had to go via me. But at least that happened. And then 2 or 3 sessions later, he was actually on the screen in front of her - which is huge, and it had never been seen before. So that - in just 2 or 3 sessions -was incredible! And then 18 months later, he is directly talking with Trudy. He's dancing; he's joking with her; he high fives with her on the screen; he's half naked. So he is absolutely comfortable with Trudy. And it's so beautiful to see that trust, that he had developed with somebody who he's never met before. And given his past of not being able to even talk to adults or be on Zoom - incredible, incredible change! So that's just from an outside perspective. And then, what he got from the sessions, was that the weekly Trudy check-ins that we had, became a way for him to become comfortable with, and celebrate overcoming challenges. And those kind of challenges could be anything from trying a new food, to working through an emotional challenge, with somebody else in the family, to accepting praise, or to going out to a new place. And each of these for him is monumental. And with Trudy we were tracking it all, and celebrating it all, and writing it all down. And so he really learned a way to celebrate his challenges - and to get through them, and to be able to talk about them and receive them. Trudy's also been helping us. I think because of how she's worked with us, through this process, she helped us bridge his world, into a larger one. So as I mentioned before, he'd only talked to 4 adults - he would only talk to 4 adults before Trudy. Trudy became the 5th adult and now, as he's started working through challenges, being more open to challenges, he talks to at least 15 adults - if not more. He's very open to talk to new adults, and so it's just been a beautiful, beautiful expansion and growth that he has been able to receive through Magical Change.

Marcella: Why is magical change different from other services for supporting the mental health of young people? Well, where I am, there's no one around us who specifically works on emotional support and mental health for kiddos like mine. And so it's different from other therapies and support systems, in that it's not trying to achieve a particular goal. Rather, it's acknowledging where he is, meeting him where he is in his life, and it's a way where he defines what good progress is. And so it's very much about him learning internally who he is; how he faces challenges; how he overcomes challenges; what tool sets and and skills he has to overcome his own challenges; and so it's really about him learning how to be himself - and more himself - and accepting more himself. So yeah, there's really nothing like it where I am. And it's so much a `meeting him where he is` programme - that's built by him - that again there's really nothing like it,. Huge fan.