Speaker: Ruth victor , Simplylace photography - Milton On
What were your initial thoughts about having your photo taken for dating profiles?
Ruth victor : I have to say that doing the photoshoot was one of the most a awakening enlightening moments of this course, I was very anxious about doing the photoshoot, buying the clothes, finding the right things. Benjamin and Rebecca were fabulous in terms of guiding me and bringing me forward to get to the right outfits in the right spot, finding the right photographer. I actually in my tagline to the photographer said, how would you like to work with me to build a new life for myself? And she was fabulous in there all the way. We had great fun. I thought what was the most important part of it was afterwards when I saw the photos. I had no idea how beautiful I was and how engaging I looked and all of that. It was way more than I ever could have imagined. And there was a part of me that very much spoke down to myself and tried to make me feel very small inside and tried very hard to take me away from being all that I could be. And this photoshoot really, really in a very fundamental way brought me towards the fact that I could believe in myself more that I could see myself more. And when I put myself out on the online dating sites that there is really something out there to offer to the world. So, thank you. It was fundamental throughout the whole process, everyone from Rebecca and Benjamin encouraged me all the way. And I thank them for that because I don't think I would have done it on my own and it fundamentally changed something inside of me. So again, thank you.
Can you describe your experience with your photographer?
Ruth victor : My photographer, from the moment of finding her online, I started off with the first email saying to her, how would you like to be a part of changing my life? And she emailed me right back and said, what's this about? And I sent her the information, the instructions, explained to her that I was embarking on a new journey in my life, that I wanted someone to do the photographs with me that would enjoy it, have fun, and understand that I felt uncomfortable, but we were going to have a good time doing it. And she called me up in response to my email and was absolutely thrilled to be part of my life and engaging me this way. Honestly, we had this great joke because when I first said to Rebecca and to Benjamin for my outfits, I'm gonna do my hiking clothes and because I live in my hiking clothes, both of them said, no, you're not doing that. And shockingly enough, what my profile one of the pictures is, is me in my hiking gear because I'm happy and relaxed and all of that. Beautiful pictures. She made me laugh all my, we had the best hour and a half, just laughing, engaging, enjoying our time together. It was fun. And because she kept on saying to me as she took the pictures, we'd start do a change of outfits, and then she'd come up to me and she'd take some pictures and she'd come up to me and say, look how beautiful you are. But if you just relax a little bit more and laugh more and then we'd joke and then she just would start rapid firing the pictures as we're just laughing and talking. How fabulous. Fabulous. I could not say more about her. It was probably the most fun I've had over two hours. And within 15, 20 minutes of going away from there, she picked out her five best pictures, sent them to me and said, I just want you to know how beautiful you are because I believe in you and I know just emotional here. She says I'm gonna be taking your engagement pictures and I'm gonna photograph your wedding. It was just fabulous. Honestly, it touched my heart what she did. And for me, it really made a difference in terms of getting my feet underneath me and knowing that when I put my profile up on Wednesday, this week, that I will have the best pictures that are me in my happiest moments and me laughing and smiling, looking beautiful. So well worth doing!
What were the benefits of this process?
Ruth victor : The benefits of doing the photography section of professional photo shoot. I think in my mind, the primary benefit is I know that when I go online, I'm putting the best quality me, I could put out there. It will put me out there heads and shoulders among most of the profiles I have been through enough of my life. I only want a quality person. I want someone who basically punches at my grade and those pictures say to someone you've got to be in my league in order to come forward and to be part of my life. I have a very good life. I'm very happy where I am. I'd like someone to share it with me. I'd like something to do more and the photography and the pro pictures are huge. The other big part of the process that was such a benefit is Rebecca and I, the coach have talked at length about inside of me. It was a part of me and a friend, enemy, my mother's voice that always says to me, I need to be small. That being large, being beautiful, being capable, being all these things is something that's wrong. And when I actually came back from the photo shoot, I texted her in tears and we quickly set up a session and talked about the fact that how hard the whole moment was for me. And there was a part of me afterwards as I walked away having great fun doing it that felt like I had done something horribly wrong and working through that with her and working through the process that standing in my own light is not about not being small. It's about being authentic. It's about being me. It's about being true to myself. It's about being strong and about being brave and about being whole and being, asking your question. What if and answering it? I can.
What would you say to other clients who are hesitant about having their photos taken?
Ruth victor : What would I say to someone who is hesitant? I've actually been chatting with another lady over the last couple days about the question of what am I doing? Why am I doing it? It's a chance for you to believe in yourself more. It's a chance for you to go out and show the world all that you are worth. It's a chance for you to go out and say I'm gonna push that edge. I'm gonna go beyond what my mind thinks that I am and I'm going to do this because I can and I've gone through with her the questions as I went through. Oh, what am I gonna wear? And I can't tell you the number of emails I sent to Benjamin. How about this outfit? No. How about this? Now? We're not coming pink. How about this? Well, you know, I'm sure that's a beautiful top but it doesn't photograph well, and then all of a sudden it dawned on me, hey, there's some things that look good in pictures that really don't look some, some things that look good on you, but don't look good in pictures and that it matters. And he's reacting to the pictures and wants you to be your best. And then all of a sudden, I got two outfits and send them to him and he said, "That's it! You're heading in the right direction. You've got it, keep going." And then all of a sudden I realized, ok, I had to step out of my comfort zone. I had to do something bold. I had to do something daring. I had to be bigger than me. And it was honestly, that is my main profile picture is one of those outfits and I look stunning. Not to say that in terms of that, it's just one of those pictures in life. You go, wow, I've, that, that was worth it. Now, I'm gonna say something really, really simple about the photos because the other lady said this to me when I was talking to her and I actually was shocked about what she said because I feel like, to be honest with you, this course is not inexpensive and it's an investment in ourselves. And I've never understood the idea once you're in to the 98% point in terms of spending cash on something, why you wouldn't spend the last 2%. If that 2% gets you to the 100% get you to the top of the mountain and gets you where you wanna go, I think, in all honesty, from a very basic part of the discussion with her. false economy. I don't know how to say it. other than that, this is about investing in yourself. This is about being your best, this is about selling yourself in the best light. This is about putting yourself out there as you'd want to, as you really want to be seen. So I can't see that. It was funny because I sent her a picture, like a standard pictures of myself. One when I was riding, one in a wetsuit, just things that I would naturally do fairly often. And I sent her my profile picture, the one the best, the best, the one that's gonna go on the front. And I said, do you see the difference? And her response was, "Wow. I never imagined there would be that much of a difference. I'm all in now." That's all I can say is that you will be amazed at what you get back. You will be amazed at what a difference it makes. And I, you know, I'm not on the dating sites yet, so I can't say what will happen. But I do believe when I go on there, this is an investment in me. I think at the time that I would spend on, on a house, buying a house, the time on spending, buying a car, all of those things. I think this time and effort is worth spending on me.
